Falling for Her
by Lesatho
Summary: Coming to terms with the loss of two years and the differences its created in the woman he loves, Shepard finds that love hurts in more than a figurative sense. M!Shep/Liara, LotSB. OneShot.


**I.**

It unsettled him even now, some hours past his first meeting with Liara since his return to the world he should have known, but found he no longer did. The unfamiliar hid in the shadows and angles of places he knew, where he had tread. Even in the Citadel, where his career had risen far above his own expectations; there was nothing familiar. The Wards had been changed... though last he saw them, they had been little but geth-invaded rubble. When people recognized him, it was with expressions either hopeful or hateful. Even Kaidan, who told him he had respected him beyond a leadership position right before he spat at him, had found nothing to follow in Shepard's return.

But there had been no accusation in Liara's eyes when she turned to face him, no cry of traitor or covert glances full of suspicion as he walked into the office poised over Illium's trade floors.

Perhaps that was what made it worse when he closed the distance between them; her hands on his shoulders positioned to stay him rather than to embrace, her head angled smoothly away to avoid the kiss he'd meant to press to her lips. An almost regretful shake of her head denying him even the chance to ask her why before she retreated back behind the veneer of business. The asari had been distant, been cold. Treated him like any other old friend off the street, though he'd come to understand she had precious few of those now.

The terminal made an angry blare of noise in response to an error as he fumbled through his thoughts, fingers unnaturally clumsy on the screen. Behind him, Jacob made a noise of irritation and twitched as if to push Shepard out of the way and take care of the job himself. Blockading him with a shift of his armored body, he tried to focus back on the terminal. It was the only thing she'd given him aside from information thus far, and he wouldn't let her down. If that was all she needed him for now... he would try to make it enough.

**II.**

Shepard settled his armored bulk into the chair, the wide console sat between them; an impenetrable wall. Eyes hidden behind the electronic band of his visor, he searched her face for a brief moment, looking for anything of the woman he loved hiding just beneath the surface. But Liara seemed to be beyond the need for physical masks; she gave nothing away. Not even to him.

"Some information has come to my attention." White knuckled in the sheath of his gauntlets, his hands curled into fists atop his thighs. "We know where the Shadow Broker is." Something broke through the stone of her expression then; a flit of surprise chased down by something savage. Vengeance flooded her eyes as she stood and with a sinking feeling in his gut, he handed her the datapad. Liara retreated back behind the console and he watched her from the other side of the wall.

Anger, surprise, and eventually hope all came to rest in her features as she scanned the data, and he remained in the background of her attention, like a forgotten delivery boy. It wasn't his pride that was ruffled so much as his expectations and once again he found himself fighting the truth he couldn't quite accept. Two years. Two years was long enough to move on, he supposed. It had been long enough to become a traitor, long enough to become a tool, and long enough to become a memory.

He wouldn't let her turn him into a memory. "Tell me what you need me to do, Liara," he exhaled, voice an expressionless dead weight beneath his words. "And I'll make sure it gets done."

**III.**

A rescue mission rather than revenge. It was a shift in a direction he was more familiar with. Rescue he could do. Had done. Would continue to do.

Her apartment was strobe-lit with security lights when he cleared the final corner and even before stepping up the wide police band he knew the Shadow Broker had been one step ahead of them. What else had they expected? Her windows were in pieces, spiderweb cracks surrounding each bullet hole. Shepard's eyes flicked about the apartment; taking in details in sharp clarity. No blood. No body. Thank god... she was still alive.

When the unfamiliar Asari chased the security personnel from the luxury of Liara's home and introduced herself as a fellow Spectre, Shepard played the part of respectful ally until she left him to search the apartment. Those little bits of Liara's life that she had shared with him before seemed to click easily into place as he purposefully searched her haven. Prothean relics exhibited under glass, her degree displayed proudly on the wall of her small, tucked-away office. Charred and blasted remnants of his old armor had taken residence in the corner of her living room, the glass case as well cared for as the ageless relics. Wonder colored his voice when he saw the painting of Ilos hanging on her wall. There was little point in hiding the small half-smile that tugged at his lips when he found the _Normandy_ at her bedside.

**IV.**

Vasir's slow chatter washed over him as they marched up the steps. Shepard had to restrain himself to keep from taking them two at a time to find Liara and let her know the danger, his heart wrapped uncomfortably tight in the duty-verses-love struggle. The Dracon Trade Center stretched above them though fell short of the other glittering office structures that were raised like spears across the horizon.

The explosion tore the building open as suddenly as gunshot, glass and metal twisting apart as a fist of heat scooped them both off their feet and flung them back, limbs flailing as gravity momentarily failed them. Shepard hit the stairs hard, armor scraping as he tumbled a few feet before thrashing to a halt and surging to his feet. Vasir cursed loudly as she slammed to a halt at the bottom of the short flight, getting to her feet with less urgency than he felt the moment called for.

Shepard looked back to the asari and found her glance to be speculative before she nodded at him in some unspoken agreement. The Commander's Carnifax pistol was already in his hand as he charged toward the wreckage, sparing dead and injured bystanders a pained glance before the scent of scorched metal surrounded and the haze of smoke closed in around him.

**V.**

Metal screeched, screamed, as he threw an arm out in a last ditch effort that never stood a chance. Momentum and gravity took quick command and his fingers scraped shrilly against the angled wall on their downward slide and fell silent as he and Vasir tumbled through the air. Stories below, the ground rushed eagerly toward them. The drop slowed unexpectedly and he wrestled mid-air with the Asari as she manipulated her biotic energy to keep them from shattering on the scorched metal below. Or at least to keep herself from shattering. Vasir fought free of his grasp and bowed her spine at what should have been an impossible angle to plant a combat boot against Shepard's chest and kick off, sending him hurtling toward the ground with an angry roar.

Pain exploded through him when he struck, oxygen pushed from his lungs in a sharp breath. Glass rained down around him, shards pelting of the shell of his armor, one scoring a thin line along his jaw where the visor didn't cover. Lacking even the breath to groan, he found himself unable to move aside from a slow, agonizing roll that propped him onto his side. _Move!_, he screamed at himself, but mind and body were in a clear disconnect, fingers twitching against the ground as he struggled just to draw a breath.

Managing a gentler landing, Vasir's steps crunched through metal and glass as she paced nearer to him. _Move... move or you die! _His body maintained a stubborn rebellion though he managed to drag one arm a few inches toward himself, lungs finally expanding as he sucked in a painful breath of air. The hair at the back of his neck stood on end, eyes rolling to see Vasir's slow gathering of biotic energy around a curled fist.

Then she looked sharply upward, turning on a heel to dash quickly away from his prone form. Sucking in air with pained desperation, Shepard could only watch as Liara landed as lightly and gracefully as the other Spectre had. Without sparing a look backward at him, or his squadmates still on the third floor, she was off after Vasir, a trailing streak of pale color against the burned out shell of the trade floor. Gasping, struggling, he pushed himself upward as Jacob and Garrus finally reached him. "Go..." Shambling forward, he managed to push himself forward as the doors opened and spilled more of the Shadow Broker's agents onto the floor.

Throwing himself into cover, he winced as gunfire chewed up the rubble around them.

**VI.**

Liara was still moving forward, pushing through her own doubts and leaving him soundly behind as she marched back toward the taxi they'd nearly destroyed in their mad chase through Illium's skyways. The asari had yet to stop moving since she'd resurfaced in the Dracon Trade Center, eyes bright with righteous fury. Vasir was dead, the data disc had been recovered and Liara was strung so tight she practically hummed. "He's got to know we're coming now, we need to move quickly. I've already sent the coordinates on the data disk ahead to Joker. If he-"

"We'll get Feron out alive Liara. I promise." Shepard rest his hand on her shoulder, but she shook it off as if it were meant to restrain her, pushing forward across the bloodied balcony without looking back.

"I know," she continued, shoulders inching defensively upward. "You're here to help. Like always. Two years Shepard, and I'm still leaning on you for help." A tremor worked its way through her voice, and he moved forward again, closing the distance between them but pulling up short when she turned to face him, blue eyes like granite. "We have the data and we have the means. We can get there with the _Normandy's_ stealth drives without him knowing. The Shadow Broker's agents will still be shooting up Illium looking for us after we're long gone."

"That's awfully cold. Innocent people will die while they search for us." Though his eyes were masked by the glow of the visor banding his face, the disapproval was clear in his voice. Ever the defender of the innocent, he supposed. But somebody had to be.

"You know what I mean..."

"Do I?" Shepard didn't reach out this time, jaw clenched tightly for a moment as he studied her face. "When I hit the ground back there, you took off after Vasir without a backward look."

Rather then the apology he half-expected, her eyes hardened, chin angling upward as she stared him down. "A little fall wasn't going to kill you." And then her back was to him again, strong and even steps carrying her further away from him. "I had to stay rational. Stay focused. But from here, things will be simple. Get in, get Feron, get out. And kill anybody that tries to stop us."

"Will you stop?" Perhaps his grasp was a little hard when he spun her back to face him, but there was nothing in her expression that begrudged it. "We're going to be jumping light years, we have time to talk." There had to be a better explanation for why she had changed so much. Bloodthirsty vengeance wasn't something he expected from her.

"About what?"

"About us." Shepard was almost certain he'd meant to say something else, but the thought had leaped free before he could pull it back.

"Shepard, I'm... glad you're here. But you were dead." Her eyes slid away, refusing to focus on him.

"I came back." He practically spat it, taking her by the shoulders to force her to look at him. Still, she refused.

"It's not that easy." Gently, firmly, her arms came up between them and pushed his hands away. He let them fall to his side without fighting it this time, though he kept his eyes on her.

"Liara, you brought me back because you couldn't let me go. Don't push me away now."

Sighing, she turned and kept walking, leaving him standing in the dust and shattered glass of their chase. "I'm sorry. I just can't get into that right now. We need to stay focused on the mission."

**VII.**

Fighting atop a moving ship had definite and definable downsides to it. Shepard had faced death in several different forms and even succumbed to it once; perhaps that was why the height made him so uneasy. The threat of a final plunge was there, just beyond the railings was a seething mass of clouds and a long drop into oblivion.

He had never experienced any remorse in killing mercenaries, they'd chosen their path in life and decided on violence as a means to an end. That they were paid to fight and to kill put them squarely as combatants in his mind and so they were, and always had been, enemy soldiers. But when his biotic pull had dragged a mercenary off the platform and the unfortunate man had been swept over the edge of the ship by the passing wind, he had felt a pulse of unease snake through him. It wasn't a pleasant way to go, far more merciful to just empty a thermal clip into them and be done with it.

Shepard had steered away from using his own biotics atop the ship, avoiding the possibility of sending another person screaming over the edge. The Agents they faced felt no such compulsion to spare a person a terrifying death and the Vanguard that had swarmed atop the ship with the most recent group of agents had honed in on him with startling speed. Cursing, he hurled himself forward toward cover only to be snatched away from it with a sudden surge of energy that ripped him away from the dependability of gravity. His hoarse shout was torn away by the screaming wind and it was with a sense of relived horror he felt himself floating... falling. The air in his lungs seemed to freeze as memory crashed forcefully through him.

Garrus snapped his sniper rifle around, aiming and releasing a shot so quickly that the Vanguard couldn't have even registered it. The powerful rifle tore head from shoulders and the biotic grasp dissipated as quickly as it had snatched Shepard up, giving him back to gravity. Striking hard against the armored shell, the contour of the Broker's ship tipped him precariously toward the edge and the writhing mass of lightning that lurked beyond the ship's hull. Tumbling, he barely had the chance to think before the drop leveled out and he slammed into the outer railing with enough force that one of the bolts holding it to the walkway gave way with an sharp crack akin to rifle fire and bent a few inches outward from it's grounding. Breathing coming in harsh coughs of noise that filled his helmet, Shepard threw himself backward and edged in toward the fight.

The shock faded quickly away as Garrus grabbed him roughly by the back of his hardsuit and hauled him behind cover as bullets snapped against the deck, eyes sharp through the smoky shield of his helmet as he gave him a searching once over. In the distance, Liara still battled like a woman possessed. Turning back to the fight, the turian cast him a helpless shrug and they threw themselves back into the firefight.

**VIII.**

The Shadow Broker's raw, enraged power put krogan to shame and Shepard was certain he was completely mad; charging at it with fists instead of firepower when it had twisted the overhead's energy into a kinetically tuned shield. Bullets had been rendered useless... though the majority of their firepower had been removed from the fight with Garrus out cold. Like Liara, Shepard was almost a pure biotic, and the Shadow Broker was so heavily shielded it had been like trying to wrestle down a Geth Colossus. Again.

He kept telling himself he would be doing this for her regardless of how things turned out. Each of his squadmates had come to him for help. Vengeance had been requested of him on several instances and this was hardly different. Shepard nearly laughed at himself as he hurled himself across the ground at an all out run. Planting a bomb in an abandoned facility for the sake of closure did not stand up to taking on the galaxy's most influential information broker. Talking a vengeful turian out of sniping a tormented former-ally couldn't hold a candle to fist-fighting a massive, violent alien intent on ripping his limbs off and beating him to death with his own arms.

No time for thought.

The first punch snapped the yahg's head back, though it spun to face him with an outraged roar, maw rippling open to display jagged rows of teeth as it howled at him. He drew his fist back and slammed harder at it the second time. The Shadow Broker hadn't exhausted it's bag of tricks and his next lunge in was met with a hastily generated energy shield. Planting his bulk in an offensive swing, the yahg caught him broadside with a heavy blow of the shield and smashed him to the ground with enough force to momentarily stun him. Weapon drawn, Liara rushed in as he regained his feet and leaped back to action.

The Shadow Broker roared and swung in, muscles bunching under the professional suit stretched across it's form as it brought the shield around in another measured arc. It caught Shepard squarely, lifting him off his feet and throwing him into Liara's charge, tumbling them both across the floor. Twisting to his feet in an instant, Shepard swung his rifle around from it's holstered position on his back and drove the yahg back with a quick volley of shots while Liara staggered to her feet and rushed back to the safety of cover.

**IX.**

For the first time in a long time, Shepard couldn't find the willpower to get back on his feet. Battered, bruised and likely blooded as well despite armor and kinetic shielding, he simply let go of the tension and felt the tight flex of his muscles give way. The danger had passed, that much he was sure of, having seen the Shadow Broker literally disintegrate in the sudden overflow of power that Liara had called down on top of him. The enraged roar that had ripped through the ship still echoed in his ears, though the overload of power had sent his visor into an immediate fit; the sudden glare of light turning the world featureless for a split second before the visor went dark and took his vision with it. The explosive energy had been physical as well, ripping his feet out from beneath him and sending him crashing once more to the ground. Blind and tired, he let his head fall back against the floor with a quiet groan.

Light flickered across his vision as his visor began to reboot, the world cast in blinding contrast that pulled an involuntary hiss of pain from his lips. Things began to slowly focus, sight returning in hazy whorls and sparks that flit across his field of vision.

Then he saw her. White clad and trailing a ghostly afterimage behind her as she walked through the flickering motes of energy that hissed in the air around them. Liara's purposeful stride brought her standing over him though her face was hidden in shadows cast by the glowing streaks of back-lashing energy from the overhead capacitor as it arced and flickered back to life above her. Looking quietly down at him, she finally offered him her hand. Fighting the encroaching lassitude, he reached slowly to take it. With his feet beneath him once more, his head seemed to pound with each slow beat of his heart. Through the ache in his skull and slow recovery of his visor, he could see her eyes were full of victory, breath coming in sharp pants of exertion.

The moment shattered when Garrus stirred, shoving debris away with a vicious clattering of his jaw and Shepard lurched off toward him to help, leaving Liara standing under the flickering light in quiet solitude. Background voices began to filter in from the wall of monitors off to one side, insistent demands for contact that he shoved out of mind as he helped Garrus unsteadily to his feet. The turian rocked faintly, looked around for the adversary and finally turned a questioning glance to Shepard. "Party over?"

Both of them tensed when the Shadow Broker's voice flooded the air, and Shepard spun to find Liara at the console, her own small window open to modulate her voice into the necessary tones to mimic the yahg. "Spirits," Garrus gaped, then whirled again as the doors slid open and Feron lurched in, pistol jumping to his hand as his eyes scanned the room. With all three of them staring at her, Liara finished her address to the Broker's agents, a quick reassurance that all was well and a demand of status update before closing out.

"You... how?" Feron took a few stumbling steps toward Liara, and when she turned the uncertainty was clear on her face.

"Everybody who's seen the Shadow Broker is dead. We... we can't let all that disappear. I had to."

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Shepard took a wavering step toward her. It could be a bad idea, an overwhelming decision to take on everything that the Shadow Broker had gathered.

"It was either that or lose everything. Those contacts, his trading sources. Those can really help us. With the Shadow Broker's information network, I can... " Liara turned, shoulders hitching upward as she placed her hands on the console, head bowed slightly. "I can give you... I can..." A shudder moved through her, voice breaking as her fingers curling into fists.

"Ah..." Feron turned, limping his way back toward the door with a tactful gesture to Garrus. The turian slipped in beside him as they retreated from the room. "We'll go check the power systems."

When the doors hissed shut behind them, Shepard moved to Liara; face buried in her hands and body turned inward on itself. "It's over... for two years..."

She turned when his hand settled on her shoulder, shifting to lean into him as he brought his arms around her, pulling her close as the first quiet sob shuddered through her. He could do this at least, protect her for a moment and be the immoveable center while she caught her breath. Sheltering her in his arms, he pressed his cheek to hers with a soft murmur. "It's all right." Eventually she seemed to relax against him, face buried against the armor of his shoulder as she sagged into him and borrowed the strength he offered. When she pulled away, he tipped his head to regard her carefully, hoping to find closure in her eyes. Gliding her hands gently along his arms, she tipped her head toward him rather then meet his stare, lips brushing gently against his own; a whisper of a kiss that seemed to surprise them both. And then she was pulling away from him once more.

"It's been two years," she began, eyes downcast as her hands fluttered nervously before her. Her steps faltered as she tried to back away from him. "I don't... we're different people, and... and you have your mission, and now I have-"

Shepard cut her off quietly, stepping in to curve his fingers along the leather trim of her hip while he gently tipped her chin upward, lips descending to meet hers before she could continue to protest what they both seemed to so clearly want. Elation thrummed through him as her arms wound around his neck, fingers sliding into his hair as she pulled him closer still. The kiss deepened, the moment stretching into an eternity as he held her near, a single quiet thought feathering through his mind. _I'm home._

Her lips curved into a gentle smile beneath his own and with a breathless sigh, Liara broke the kiss, tilting her head to rest her forehead against his. "Okay," she smiled, arms still tight around his neck. "Okay."

"Okay."

**X.**

The wine that he'd poured sat forgotten, twin glasses sparkling on the polished tabletop. He'd been speechless when she'd first walked in; graceful and glamorous in the sleek column of her dress. Once he'd managed to find his sense, he was thankful he'd decided to wear the tuxedo that Kasumi had cajoled him into for her heist. If the look in her eyes was anything to go by, she was just as appreciative of his efforts. He'd complimented her, she'd given him his charred, bent dog tags and their attempts at small talk had seemed grandly ridiculous in light of what they'd faced and what still lay ahead.

"If this all ends tomorrow, what happens to us?" Liara's tone was light, almost offhand. But he'd caught the look in her eyes. Neither one of them were quite sure where they stood. He knew where he wanted to be though, so answering her was easy.

"Marriage." Her eyes widened slightly as he took up her hand, cradling it gently in his own. "Old age." He took up the other, shifting closer to watch her expression soften slightly. "Lots of little blue children." She laughed at that, pulling a hand free to shove at him.

"You can't just say things like that." Shepard watched as she turned, her path taking her to his desk where a careful glance at his charred and battered N7 helmet sobered her immediately. "Goddess... you were dead." It hushed him as well, and he stepped quietly up behind her.

"I got better." When she turned, it placed her nearly in his arms. Her own came up in faint surprise, fingers trailing along his bicep as she turned moist eyes to his own.

"This time. But you're going to leave again. Soon you... you'll be going through the Omega-4 Relay." There was a subtle desperation in her movements when she took hold of his hands, fingers wrapped around his own in a tight grip. "I spent two years mourning you. I... I need to know that you're always coming back."

It wasn't a promise he could be certain about, but Shepard knew more than anything it would be the one worth keeping. "I don't know..." He lifted her hands, brushing his lips across her knuckles with a faint smile. "That's a pretty big promise to keep." The playful tone in his voice was able to draw forth an answering smile at least, Liara's voice turning sing-song as she blinked the tears away.

"Oh, is it really?" Sliding her hands free of his grasp, she swayed closer, fingers walking a path along his arm to his shoulders as he bent his head to hers. His cheek slid against hers, her soft skin a steady warmth against his as he angled his head, lips smiling against her throat.

"I'd have to have something special to come back to." Smoothing across her hips, his hands followed the graceful curve of her body to her lower back, pressing her gently closer as his lips moved against her throat. Exhaling on a soft sigh, her fingers buried themselves in his hair to urge him silently onward.

"I'm open to suggestions." Liara's voice had gone breathy as his hands glided smoothly upward, fingers gentle against the curve of her spine as he angled his head to trail kisses along her jawline in a steadfast path toward her lips. She melted against him and had the pleasure of hearing the slight hitch in his breathing as his hands fell to her hips, holding her intimately near.

"I have one." Shepard's lips hovered over hers, near enough for his words to brush them against one another in a teasing whisper of sensation. "Liara T'Soni, stay with me tonight?" By way of answer, she rose upward on her toes to seal her lips to his, arms firm around his neck. The lights dimmed as they found one another anew, the years falling away to expose the same breathless wonder Ilos had brought into their lives. And this time when he fell, she tumbled with him, the soft surface of the bed catching them gently as she drifted against him, her fingers in his hair and on his face as she reacquainted herself with a love thought lost.

* * *

**A/N**: This was meant to be a short story. I got... carried away. :D Liara only kinda interested me as a character in ME, though I still went ahead and romanced her on one of my playthroughs, then she went and sorely disappointed my poor Shepard when he met back up with her in Illium in ME2.

Lair of the Shadow Broken has fully redeemed her to me.

Update: To see a companion piece of art, check the link in my profile.


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